Last year my mom found out my dad was cheating on her with his friend’s sister and the friend’s sister was pregnant with dad’s baby. I (20m) was in college and found out about it after mom
had kicked him out and filed for divorce. My dad has not accepted the end of his marriage to mom and even now the divorce is final he’s still trying to convince mom to take him back.
Between finding out and hearing from both of my parents I knew I was done with dad after that. I told him he was disgusting and he needed to not contact me. I blocked his number and carried on with my life without him.
Even when I heard the baby was born I didn’t have a change of heart. This didn’t change when I was told dad had . . . . .
Last year, a 20-year-old college student’s life changed dramatically when he learned that his father had been unfaithful to his mother. The affair was not a brief mistake but a long-term betrayal involving the sister of one of his father’s friends. The situation became even more painful when it was revealed that the woman was pregnant with his father’s child. By the time the young man learned the truth, his mother had already discovered the affair, forced his father out of the family home, and filed for divorce.
The news devastated the family. His parents’ marriage, which he had believed to be stable, ended because of his father’s actions. While his mother focused on rebuilding her life and moving forward with the divorce, his father refused to accept that the marriage was over. Even after the divorce was finalized, he continued trying to persuade his ex-wife to reconcile, insisting that they could repair their relationship despite everything that had happened.
For the son, however, the damage was irreversible. He was deeply disappointed and disgusted by his father’s choices. Cheating on his mother was painful enough, but starting another family while still married made the betrayal even worse in his eyes. He decided that he no longer wanted any relationship with his father. After confronting him and expressing his anger, he made it clear that he wanted no further contact. He blocked his father’s phone number and concentrated on his college studies and his own future, determined to distance himself from the turmoil.
As time passed, updates about his father’s life occasionally reached him through relatives or mutual acquaintances. Eventually, he learned that the baby from the affair had been born. While some people expected the arrival of an innocent child to soften his feelings or inspire him to reconnect, that never happened. He did not blame the baby, recognizing that the child had done nothing wrong, but he also felt no obligation to become involved in the child’s life. The birth changed nothing about how he viewed his father or the choices that had destroyed his family.
His father, however, continued trying to repair their relationship. He repeatedly reached out through different means after realizing he had been blocked. He expressed regret, claimed he wanted to be part of his son’s life again, and hoped they could rebuild their bond. The son remained unmoved. To him, trust had been shattered, and his father’s refusal to fully accept the consequences of his actions only reinforced his decision to stay away.
Family members became divided over the situation. Some respected the young man’s choice and understood why he wanted nothing to do with his father. They acknowledged the hurt caused by the affair and agreed that rebuilding trust would take far more than apologies. Others believed he should forgive his father eventually, arguing that people make mistakes and that cutting off a parent forever was too harsh. They also pointed out that the new baby deserved to have siblings and extended family, hoping this might encourage reconciliation.
The young man disagreed with those arguments. In his mind, forgiveness could not be demanded simply because time had passed or because a child had been born. His father had chosen to betray his wife, break apart their family, and create an entirely new one. Those were conscious decisions with lasting consequences. While he wished no harm on the baby, he did not see why he should sacrifice his own emotional well-being to make his father feel better or to create the appearance of a united family.
He also sympathized deeply with his mother, who had endured the pain of discovering the affair and navigating a difficult divorce. Watching her rebuild her life strengthened his resolve to support her rather than entertain his father’s attempts to return to the past. He admired her resilience and wanted to stand by the parent who had been wronged instead of the one responsible for the betrayal.
Despite ongoing pressure from his father and occasional criticism from relatives, the son remained firm in his decision. He believed that maintaining boundaries was necessary for his own peace of mind. While he accepted that his father had the right to live his own life and raise his new child, he also believed he had the right to decide who would be part of his own life.
In the end, he concluded that cutting contact with his father was the healthiest choice. He held no resentment toward the innocent baby but refused to let the child’s existence erase the hurt caused by his father’s actions. His priority was protecting his emotional well-being, supporting his mother, and moving forward with his own future, even if that meant leaving his father behind permanently.
