I hired a stranger to be my boyfriend for one afternoon because my ex was bringing the woman he chose over me. I expected whispers, pity, maybe a cruel laugh by the pool. What I did not expect was for that stranger to notice one tiny habit of mine and make everyone see who had taught it to me first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I almost canceled when Daniel stepped out of his car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was too handsome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was my first ridiculous thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not kind-looking. Not safe-looking. Handsome.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n He was too handsome.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired, with sunglasses pushed into his hair and a white shirt rolled neatly at the sleeves. He moved like the walkway belonged under his feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stood on my porch in my blue sundress, gripping the doorframe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dress had faded from years of washing. Comfortable. Soft. A little tighter around my waist than it used to be before three pregnancies and 15 years of family dinners where I ate last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had changed outfits six times before putting the blue dress back on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dress had faded from years of washing.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Daniel smiled when he reached the steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaggie?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n My mouth moved before sense could stop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I don\u2019t look like my photos anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He paused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not long enough to be rude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Long enough for me to hear myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he said, \u201cYou apologized before you introduced yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I don\u2019t look like my photos anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n I laughed because there was nowhere else for my embarrassment to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry. Hi. I\u2019m Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n His expression changed slightly at the second apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He held out his hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaniel.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Behind me, my youngest daughter yelled that someone had taken her goggles. One of the twins shouted back that goggles were communal property. A towel slid down the stairs like a surrender flag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He held out his hand.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry,\u201d I said, stepping aside. \u201cThey\u2019re excited.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel glanced past me into the noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLooks like kids going to a pool party.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I picked up the cooler before my hands could start shaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The truth was, I had not hired Daniel because I wanted revenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hired him because Ryan was going to be there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And Lucille was going to be beside him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hired him because Ryan was going to be there.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Three months earlier, Ryan had stood in our kitchen while the dishwasher hummed and our youngest daughter\u2019s spelling test sat on the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI want a divorce,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I thought I had misheard him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he added, \u201cI\u2019m with Lucille now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI want a divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Lucille was his secretary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ten years younger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Polished in a way I had not been since the first baby spit up on my favorite blouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan watched my face break.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he looked at my body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUnderstand this, Maggie. You\u2019re not the woman I married. You used to be slim. Now you\u2019re just not attractive enough for me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou used to be slim.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n He said it like he was explaining a bill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n After he left, he brought Lucille everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Restaurants. Work events. His cousin\u2019s birthday. Even to his mother\u2019s house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLucille used to model,\u201d he told people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Always loudly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Always close enough for me to hear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He brought Lucille everywhere.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n So when Elaine, Ryan\u2019s mother, invited me and the kids to her annual Fourth of July pool party, I said no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaggie,\u201d she told me, \u201cyou\u2019re still family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRyan will be there, Elaine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith her.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n A long silence followed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then Elaine said, \u201cDon\u2019t let him make you disappear from places where you belong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re still family.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n I wanted to believe her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead, I searched for actors online at midnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel was the third profile I clicked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the drive to Elaine\u2019s house, I apologized for everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For traffic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the air conditioner being too cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For my daughter leaving fingerprints on Daniel\u2019s window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I apologized for everything.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Daniel didn\u2019t point any of it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He answered the kids\u2019 questions instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, he had been in commercials.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No, he was not famous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, he had once played a pirate at a dental convention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was not famous.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n My daughter gasped. \u201cDid you have a sword?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA toothbrush,\u201d Daniel said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The kids howled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For a few minutes, the car felt light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then we turned onto Elaine\u2019s street.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan\u2019s truck was already in the driveway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Beside it sat Lucille\u2019s white convertible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My stomach dropped so sharply I almost missed the brake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan\u2019s truck was already in the driveway.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Daniel noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He didn\u2019t say, \u201cRelax.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He didn\u2019t say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He only waited until I parked, then asked, \u201cReady?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I took a deep breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elaine\u2019s backyard looked exactly the same as it did every July.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The pool flashed blue under the sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Red, white, and blue streamers twisted from the fence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kids ran barefoot across the grass while someone yelled at them to slow down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The grill smoked near the patio, and the table was crowded with ribs, deviled eggs, watermelon, and cupcakes with tiny flags stuck in the frosting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The pool flashed blue under the sun.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n For one breath, I almost believed I could survive it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then I saw Ryan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He stood by the grill with one hand on Lucille\u2019s waist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She wore a red swimsuit under a sheer white cover-up. Her hair fell in perfect waves. She looked cool in the heat, untouched by sweat, motherhood, or humiliation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I almost believed I could survive it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Ryan had not seen me yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was laughing at something his brother said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He looked comfortable inside the life he had taken from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he turned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His eyes found Daniel first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His smile shifted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His eyes found Daniel first.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Elaine reached us before he did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaggie,\u201d she said, pulling me into a hug. \u201cOh, sweetheart. You look beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I tugged at the side of my dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s old.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her arms tightened around me for half a second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before she could answer, Ryan\u2019s voice cut across the patio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell! This is interesting.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s old.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Conversations thinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People pretended not to look while looking anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan walked toward us with Lucille beside him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaggie,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His eyes slid over Daniel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd who\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conversations thinned.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Daniel stepped forward calmly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaniel. Maggie\u2019s boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The word boyfriend<\/em> seemed to hang between the patio stones and the sky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan stared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHim??\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Heads turned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaniel. Maggie\u2019s boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Ryan pointed at Daniel, then at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Heat crawled up my neck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lucille looked down into her drink, but I saw the smile she was hiding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan laughed harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCome on, Maggie! You obviously paid him to come here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The yard went quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou obviously paid him to come here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Not completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A child splashed in the pool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ice shifted in someone\u2019s cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the adults stopped speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I felt every eye touch my face, my dress, my body, and my hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The adults stopped speaking.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n My fingers slipped from Daniel\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did not know who I was apologizing to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel\u2019s hand found mine again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t be,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan\u2019s smile sharpened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoes the boyfriend package include hand-holding, or is that extra?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did not know who I was apologizing to.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Elaine stiffened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My oldest son stood near the pool with a towel around his shoulders, watching his father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel looked at Ryan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoes the ex-husband package include humiliating the mother of your children in front of them, or do you do that for free?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone gasped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan swallowed, his throat locking against whatever he was about to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you do that for free?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was a joke,\u201d he shot back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel nodded once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cInteresting choice.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Somehow, the silence after his words felt worse than shouting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n The party tried to continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Music played again. Kids raced toward the diving board. Someone asked if the burgers were done. Plates were passed. Lemonade spilled. Elaine\u2019s sister complained about mosquitoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the day had changed shape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Ryan kept watching Daniel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At first, I thought he was waiting for Daniel to slip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To prove he was fake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel didn\u2019t give him anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He helped my daughter open a juice box. He asked my sons about baseball and listened like their answers mattered. He complimented Elaine\u2019s garden. When an older aunt dropped her napkin, he picked it up before she bent for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He never overdid anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That made him believable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan kept watching Daniel.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Lucille noticed Ryan watching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At first, she leaned against him harder. She laughed too brightly. She touched his arm whenever Daniel spoke to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then her laughter thinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I noticed because I was trying not to notice Ryan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trying not to notice the way my own hands kept returning to my waist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lucille noticed Ryan watching.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Smooth the dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pull the fabric.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cross my arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Step aside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay useful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I carried paper plates from the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry, excuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I carried paper plates from the kitchen.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n I wiped lemonade off the patio table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry, let me get that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n When my daughter dripped ketchup near Daniel\u2019s shoe, I grabbed a napkin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel looked at the red spot on the stone, not his shoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s ketchup, Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I laughed faintly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s ketchup, Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Still, my hands shook as I cleaned it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel watched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not comfort me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not correct me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He stored it away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not comfort me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n By late afternoon, Elaine clapped her hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll right, everyone. Family picture before the kids turn into raisins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n People groaned and gathered beneath the big oak tree at the far end of the patio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was tradition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Same tree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Same angle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every Fourth of July.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had been in 15 of those pictures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was tradition.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n At first, I stood beside Ryan with his arm around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then with babies on my hip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then with toddlers pulling at my dress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then gradually, year by year, farther toward the edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Children knelt in front. Adults lined up behind them. Lucille stood beside Ryan, smiling like she had earned the spot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At first, I stood beside Ryan with his arm around me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Elaine pointed to the last empty chair near the center.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaggie, sweetheart, sit here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I shook my head immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, someone else should have it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stepped backward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, someone else should have it.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n My heel bumped the cooler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry, I don\u2019t want to mess up the picture,\u201d I added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel looked at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then at the chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Something quiet settled over his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel looked at me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n He reached for the chair and slid it toward me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The metal legs scraped across the patio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Elaine lowered the camera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel\u2019s voice was gentle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy is everyone else\u2019s comfort automatically more important than yours?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stared at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel\u2019s voice was gentle.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n There was no answer in me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Only the terrible awareness that people were watching again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel didn\u2019t look at Ryan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He looked at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan I tell you something I\u2019ve noticed today?\u201d Daniel asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A hot, sharp sting anchored itself right at the base of my tongue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was no answer in me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n He spoke softly, but every person under that tree heard him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEvery time something happened, you assumed it was your fault, Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The yard went still.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTraffic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour kids being kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou assumed it was your fault, Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n My fingers curled against my palm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour dress.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My eyes burned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRyan laughing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one breathed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd now a chair someone offered you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I let out a small, embarrassed laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn\u2019t realize, Dan\u2026 I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My eyes burned.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Daniel\u2019s face softened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was the part that hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not because it was cruel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel glanced around the family, then back at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOne of the first things actors learn is how to occupy space without apologizing for it,\u201d he said. \u201cA stage looks empty until someone decides they belong on it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was the part that hurt.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n No one interrupted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not raise his voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not accuse Ryan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then Daniel said, \u201cPeople don\u2019t learn to apologize before they speak unless someone teaches them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan shifted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the first time all day, he looked uncertain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He did not accuse Ryan.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe wasn\u2019t like that when we met,\u201d Ryan admitted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel turned to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n That was all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But it opened something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe wasn\u2019t like that when we met.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Elaine looked down at the camera in her hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My oldest son stared at his father with a face I had never seen on him before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I knew what he was remembering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not one big thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Small ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew what he was remembering.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Ryan ordering for me because I \u201ctook forever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Him joking that I should skip dessert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That long, heavy sigh when I spoke too long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Praising Lucille\u2019s body at the same table where I served his children dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Him joking that I should skip dessert.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n I had apologized until everyone mistook silence for peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then Lucille moved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Slowly, she lifted Ryan\u2019s hand off her waist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He looked down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone mistook silence for peace.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n She did not answer at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her eyes were on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not smug now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not pretty in the victorious way she had been all afternoon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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